It’s Not About YOU

Last week I was speaking to a fellow board member. We were evaluating a controversial recommendation and as an expert in the field, her feedback was critical. For twenty minutes she shared some great insights. But as our discussion wrapped up, the conversation suddenly changed directions. She began complaining that our board did not approach her first before undertaking the task. Her final comment was “This made me look bad.”

As the line clicked dead I was stunned. Wait! What? Did she really say that?

Darned if it didn’t happen again two days later! A friend called to volunteer his time on an upcoming project. I barely uttered the words “Thank you” before he interrupted to tell me that he was personally offended that he wasn’t asked to participate in a similar project last year.

What? Come on, really?

I wanted to tell the both: It’s not about YOU!

A subtlety of leadership is that effective leaders focus on their team not themselves. As Jack Welch wrote in Winning

Leadership is not about you. It’s about the people that work for you.

Although you may end up in the spotlight, a leader continually redirects the attention to their subordinates and followers. Making it about you, as my two friends did, diminishes your leadership role.

While I don’t work for either of the two people mentioned, leadership isn’t simply about hierarchy. You don’t become a leader just because people work for you any more than you become a car because you walk into a garage. John C. Maxwell said it best in The 360 Degree Leader

The true measure of leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.

My two friends were both in leadership roles during our conversations. As a subject matter expert, the board member was in a position to influence our decision. By volunteering, my other friend placed himself in a position to influence the direction of the project. Unfortunately, by shifting the focus to them, both completely diminished their role as a leader and thus their influence.

As leaders, you control the spotlight. Focus it on your team and try to stay out of the limelight. Influential leaders know; It’s not about you!
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Subtleties of Leadership is on Twitter: @SubtleLeader