WE versus ME; Part 2

Success and failure begins and ends with the leader. How you, the leader, handle it is a subtlety of leadership. In my previous post “We vs. Me” I described how important it is for leaders to use ‘we’ and ‘our’ when discussing team successes. The old axiom there is always enough credit to go around is true. Strong leaders shine the spotlight on their team in times of achievement. If instead the leader speaks in terms of ‘my’ team, he turns the light on himself and shifts the focus from We to Me. If that happens, you lose credibility as a leader.

While the focus should be on 'We' following successes, there are other times when leaders should shift it to ‘Me’. Effective leaders publicly shoulder the responsibility when the team is not successful. The simple rule is to use We when describing success, but shift responsibility to Me when things go wrong.

Don’t misread this. Hold your team members accountable. But accountability occurs in private, behind closed doors. Publicly, leaders take the responsibility. Your peers and superiors expect it, so shift the focus from We to Me.

Why take the blame for a team member’s failure? There are many reasons, but the most important is because you are the leader. When you accept that role, you also accept responsibility for all of the decisions, all of the actions and all of the results. Great leaders know this and embrace it as part of being an effective leader.

Taking the heat off the team is also a sure-fire way to build loyalty. There is no greater way to create ardent followers than by shielding the team from the consequences of best efforts that did not win. In fact, Steve Ross Late CEO of Time Warner wrote:

In this company you’ll be fired for not making mistakes.

If you want a cohesive team of followers, shift the focus to ‘Me’ during difficult times.

Deflecting criticism also gives the team confidence to continue. Knowing that you publicly “have their backs” encourages the team to take needed risks, to think outside the box and to avoid fear of failure. As Babe Ruth famously said:

Don’t let the fear of striking out get in your way.

Keep your team swinging for the fences by assuming responsibility. When things go wrong, it is Me not We.

The answer to who gets the credit for success and failure is in the language you use. It is the subtlety of knowing when to use We and when to use Me.
- When the team succeeds, give them the credit and brag on the team. Use We and Our.
- When the team isn’t successful, step up. You are the leader. Take the heat off your team and put the focus on Me.

We versus Me

Who gets the credit for success and failure? Is it the team or the team leader? Is it We or Me? Regardless of what you believe or what you intend, the answer lies in the language you use every day.

Effective leaders know that there is always enough credit to go around. They have no fear of casting a wide net when it comes to sharing success. Knowing that top performers are more motivated by praise and recognition than tangible rewards, leaders intentionally spread the credit. They pepper their language with plural pronouns such as ‘we’ and ‘our’ to describe the positives of a team and ensure that everyone is included in successes.

WE tried something different to win this contract

or

OUR team is great at analyzing complex situations.

On the other hand, consider the impact of self-centered ‘managers’ who shift the focus from We to Me. When followers hear him say “I tried something different…” he is no longer a leader. When team members hear her say “MY team is great at…” they are not part of ‘your’ team at all.

Referring to your employees as ‘my’ department, ‘my’ team, or ‘my’ group crushes any hope of creating a team environment. While they may in fact be your employees, calling them ‘my team’ doesn’t encourage followers, it produces subordinates. If you want to manage, subordinates are great. If you want to lead, people must choose to follow you.

We vs. Me is even more important when you are away from your team. It is easy to remember ‘we’ around the team. The difficulty lies when you are away, speaking to others, particularly bosses. Those are the times when ‘me’ can sneak back into your language. That is when it is also the most damaging. When a leader takes personal credit for her team’s success and word gets back to the team, your credibility is lost.

Compounding the problem, most ‘Me’ managers think putting the spotlight on themselves will help their career. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Focusing on ‘Me’ gives others, particularly superiors, a poor impression of your leadership ability. Kendra Ready of the Financial Post agrees:

I hear people put too much emphasis on themselves (I led this, I launched that, I managed the project) and not enough on the "we". The potential implications? Yes, people may see you as capable and a ready-to-step-up-to-the-plate leader; or you may be seen as someone who is taking an over-generous portion of the credit.

We vs. Me seems so obvious. Yet many potential leaders never achieve greatness because of the subtleness of knowing when to use We and when to use Me. Using ‘We’ is important to build a cohesive team. Yet there are times when using ‘Me’ is essential. Next week, I will explain when to use ‘Me’.