We versus Me

Who gets the credit for success and failure? Is it the team or the team leader? Is it We or Me? Regardless of what you believe or what you intend, the answer lies in the language you use every day.

Effective leaders know that there is always enough credit to go around. They have no fear of casting a wide net when it comes to sharing success. Knowing that top performers are more motivated by praise and recognition than tangible rewards, leaders intentionally spread the credit. They pepper their language with plural pronouns such as ‘we’ and ‘our’ to describe the positives of a team and ensure that everyone is included in successes.

WE tried something different to win this contract

or

OUR team is great at analyzing complex situations.

On the other hand, consider the impact of self-centered ‘managers’ who shift the focus from We to Me. When followers hear him say “I tried something different…” he is no longer a leader. When team members hear her say “MY team is great at…” they are not part of ‘your’ team at all.

Referring to your employees as ‘my’ department, ‘my’ team, or ‘my’ group crushes any hope of creating a team environment. While they may in fact be your employees, calling them ‘my team’ doesn’t encourage followers, it produces subordinates. If you want to manage, subordinates are great. If you want to lead, people must choose to follow you.

We vs. Me is even more important when you are away from your team. It is easy to remember ‘we’ around the team. The difficulty lies when you are away, speaking to others, particularly bosses. Those are the times when ‘me’ can sneak back into your language. That is when it is also the most damaging. When a leader takes personal credit for her team’s success and word gets back to the team, your credibility is lost.

Compounding the problem, most ‘Me’ managers think putting the spotlight on themselves will help their career. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Focusing on ‘Me’ gives others, particularly superiors, a poor impression of your leadership ability. Kendra Ready of the Financial Post agrees:

I hear people put too much emphasis on themselves (I led this, I launched that, I managed the project) and not enough on the "we". The potential implications? Yes, people may see you as capable and a ready-to-step-up-to-the-plate leader; or you may be seen as someone who is taking an over-generous portion of the credit.

We vs. Me seems so obvious. Yet many potential leaders never achieve greatness because of the subtleness of knowing when to use We and when to use Me. Using ‘We’ is important to build a cohesive team. Yet there are times when using ‘Me’ is essential. Next week, I will explain when to use ‘Me’.