The Abilene Paradox - Setting Tone

In my last post, I described a common form of miscommunication called The Abilene Paradox. The Paradox is a problem that arises not from conflict, but from agreement. It happens when a group makes a collective decision that is in direct opposition to the actual desires and beliefs of individual members. A common example is when someone suggests a place for lunch. No one really wants to go there, but they are unwilling to voice opposition. So everyone just goes along.

Following the last blog, I asked readers how they would keep groups from traveling to Abilene. Those suggestions helped form two broad solutions. The quotes below are from some of those contributors.

Everyone involved in decisions that are made in “Abilene” shares responsibility for those decisions. But ultimately, the leader’s role is to avoid that decision-making flaw. Whether formally leading a team or simply organizing an evening out, as the leader, you must guard against the Paradox in two ways. First, discourage road trips to Abilene by setting the proper TONE. Second, if you feel the team is detouring to Abilene, stop and VALIDATE the group’s decision.

TONE
The best decisions are those made in an environment that fosters healthy disagreement. The leader’s role is to set that tone for all team interactions. Becky Cates posted this comment:

When a barrier exists, either real or perceived, there can be no open exchange. It takes a confident person to project a sincere desire to listen, receive and value the opinions and feelings of others—whether they agree or not.

Confident leaders know that the best decisions are those reached through an open exchange and they constantly encourage it.

Encouraging open exchanges and healthy disagreement begins long before a meeting. To set the proper tone you must model it all the time. Denise Dunn was succinct:

Lead by example -- not just when there are decisions to be made, but always.

One way to set the tone is to ask team members for their thoughts before expressing your own. If someone is reluctant to comment, reiterate her responsibility to the team and remind her that regardless of her views, you value her thoughts. Modeling the proper tone of open exchange demonstrates that team members have a voice and that exercising that voice will not have negative consequences.

It is important to restate the proper tone at the beginning of decision-making meetings. Explain that each team member brings a unique perspective to the decision-making process. As members of the team, they each have a responsibility to help determine the best course of action. Remind them that there may be instances when being responsible means voicing concerns. As Mike Hawkins wrote

Leaders should never fear well-intentioned dissent.

To that I add – and they should set a tone that supports it.

Setting the proper tone will help prevent trips to Abilene. However, despite your best efforts, occasionally the team will venture down that road. In the next post, I will explain how to abort The Abilene Paradox by VALIDATING team decisions.

Until then, set the proper tone: Tell your team members it is OK to constructively disagree. Make sure your friends know to speak up if they don’t like the lunch plans. Ask for your spouse’s opinion before expressing your own. Setting the proper tone is a Subtlety of Leadership that will help you stay off the road to Abilene.