Assume Positive Intent

It happens a lot. You receive an email with a snide comment that questions your skills, motives or beliefs. The insult makes you angry. Your emotions begin taking over. As your blood pressure rises, you mentally draft a stinging response.

Yes, it happens a lot...and it happened to me while researching this topic! That’s why I know that it is much easier to write ‘Assume Positive Intent’ than it is to do it. But that is precisely why it is so important. Effective leaders know they should not let emotions dictate responses. Learning to assume positive intent is one way to keep those emotions in check.

Unfortunately, human nature often causes people to interpret information through the negative goggles of bias or prejudice. It happens with all forms of communication, but is particularly evident with written materials and especially emails. As you know from a previous post, most emails lack the proper tone to convey emotions and nuances, leaving a huge void for reader interpretation.

One way to tame these negative emotions is to prepare in advance. Think back to those situations in which you felt slighted. In hindsight, you are probably amazed by the complexity and subtleness of the attack. The lesson here is that people are not normally subtle when they attack. When someone attacks, you usually know it.

Assuming positive intent works by discarding the possibility that the other person is deliberately trying to screw things up. It is important because the opposite approach, making negative assumptions, can lead to unnecessary anger, stress and worry. And that can create nonproductive behavior or lost productivity.

According to a study in the International Journal of Psychology, the effects of anger can last seven days. If being disappointed by others’ actions immediately makes you see red, then imagine the cumulative impact on your attitude and therefore, on your organization, if you are always on a continuum of getting angry to staying angry to getting over being angry - about something that might not be based on reality!

The true reality is that most people, particularly co-workers, are not trying to alienate you or others in the office. It is unlikely they are devious or conniving enough to figure out how to insult you so subtly. The ‘insult’ is most likely someone doing what they think is best and doing it for the right reasons.

As Patti Digh wrote in Life is a Verb

This isn't about being a Pollyanna and unrealistic. It's about eliminating opportunities for anger in your life - and sometimes it's about opening the door for dialogue.

In next week’s blog I will tell you how to open that door and how you can make assuming positive intent part of your daily routine.