Assume Positive Intent – Part 2

Assuming positive intent is great in theory but difficult in real life. Overlooking what could be construed as an insult requires a high level of emotional control; one that doesn’t come easy. But, effective leaders are willing to make difficult changes because they know that “nothing in life worth doing is ever easy.”

Last week I explained that the first step to assuming positive intent is acknowledging that others are not deliberately trying to anger you. In a report on assuming positive intent in The Business Journal, Robert ‘Dusty’ Staub wrote “When we assume positive intent we can focus more clearly and communicate more crisply and efficiently because we have taken off the table any sense of personal attack and are instead focusing on specific things that were done or not done and upon outcomes.”

Once you understand and believe that most people are not intentionally trying to incur your wrath, assuming positive intent becomes a matter of managing your emotions. Most negative reactions to communications are just that, emotional reactions. Don't let your emotions dictate your leadership style. Instead to be effective, learn to harness, to manage, and ultimately, to leverage emotions.

Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO of Pepsi learned to assume positive intent from her father.

“When you assume negative intent, you’re angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don’t get defensive. You don’t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, ‘Maybe they are saying something to me that I’m not hearing.’”

In practice, leaders should always work to assume positive intent. But, there is one caveat. A colleague once told me “assume positive intent…until proven otherwise.” Unfortunately, those are wise words. Despite research showing that most people do not have a malicious intent, there are exceptions. If you uncover one of those rare exceptions, keep your guard up when communicating with him in the future. But don’t let an “exception” taint your effort to view others through the eyes of positive intent.

One way to begin assuming positive intent is a bit counter-intuitive. The next time you feel insulted, instead of lashing out take time to be introspective. Ask yourself these questions before you rush to judge someone's negative intentions:
1. Do I KNOW that the insult was intentional?
2. Would someone else interpret it as insulting AND view it as deliberate?
3. Is it possible that my initial message was misinterpreted?
4. Do I have a bias that could be coloring my interpretation?

Asking yourself these questions will help you view the situation from a different perspective. . .and help your blood pressure return to normal! It takes practice, but over time it will be easier to stop thinking the worst and assume positive intent.